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A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bus trip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
You have me today,
Tomorrow you’ll have more;
As your time passes,
I’m not easy to store;
I don’t take up space,
But I’m only in one place;
I am what you saw,
But not what you see.
What am I?
I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I?
What’s at least 6 inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun if it vibrates?
If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?
If eleven plus two equals one, what does nine plus five equal?
What goes in hard, come out soft, and you blow continuously?
You can touch me,
You can break me,
You should win me if you want to be mine.
What am I?
I can’t be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I’m worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?
In “The Hobbit” by J. R. R. Tolkien, there are several hard riddles that Gollum and Bilbo ask each other.
Alive without breath,
As cold as death;
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail never clinking.
And leave you suckers black and blue
Though when we’re in action we usually bleed
That’s who we are, that’s what we do
We do it for kicks and we do it for thrills
When boredom makes you lose your mind
But mostly we do it to pay off the bills
We hope that you can read the sign
Now give us our headgear or give us a punch
So we can hang around with you
You’d best wear protection alongside our bunch
Although you might be called a prude
I hoist up my sails, I’m off on my way
Hoping to find, for the sake of my bands
A village to pillage in neighboring lands
I barge in the house
I drink all their wine
(Why, they hardly even seem like they mind!)
When business is done, I bolt out the door
Picking up more than I’m bargaining for
In port once again, my comrades all glance
And they all take note of my singing and dance
We’re off to win GOLD!
We’re leaving the bay
Harpooning whoever might stand in our way!
My function seems surreal
Along my body coming in
I’m bringing quite a reel
Just cast me out into the waves
And leave me standing tall
I’ll bring in catches that you crave
Unless I’m foiled by squalls
To find the perfect spot, explore
Shun ghosts, avoid the snow
It’s best if you can monitor
What’s going on below
I’ll try to grab you with a hook
And lines that hold you tight
Designed to draw a longing look
Be careful should you bite
Til one by one were we split
My teacher, she gave me a smack on the pate
And off in the corner I sitAdmittedly still I’m not hitting the books
Though now I’m hugging a tree
I guess in the end it’s not bad as it looks
I went from a C to a B
Relentless in my spree
Amidst the crimes I hung a man
And then the man hung me
I met some more of my own kind
We really got along
In open hid where none could find
Except the dead and gone
Clad in cloaks of four or three
Straight and narrow I’ll not be
Thus my fate is cast
Sawn asunder as you’re fain
In coffin uninterred lie slain
‘neath ice with blood-stained ball and chain
Gouged until the last
To glimpse once again at the sun
But legs to ground are shackled down
Curtailing all efforts to run
In body lies a dozen knives
My crown’s sure to split and to smell
A robber’s spear flew by my ear
Be thankful this ended so well
I stand beside my twin
See sunbeams fall through patterned cracks
That lie above this den
Of diamond, sir, my heart’s composed
It makes me who I am
Across that heart I keep exposed
The mark of Superman
If in the end our paths should meet
Then head o’er heels let’s go
Should safeguards fail, there’s no retreat
As I bring forth the snow
Assuming my humble station
I draw the curious globes
And strive to enlighten my patron
The task I’ve taken up
Providing you with protection
Unlike my peers corrupt
Distorting your sound perception
I shall not be long winded
Unless I am cast away
Results might be quite splendid
Or varying day by day
The prudent give me praise
The slovenly fools, rejection
For after several days
They only see imperfection
Still my lawn is clear
Lifeblood flowing all around
Doesn’t wander here
Spring and Summer, nearly drown
Watering the lawn
Whether grass is green or brown
I will make it strong
When the days are hot as hell
Shade the sun above
Scorching not the quiet well
Where they fell in love
Then you kiss me on the lips.
You say I’m hot and hold me near,
Then laugh that I lack shapely hips.Up and down your silly game
Your passion stirred already,
Whether mood be light or dark –
Just try to hold me steady!
I’m the one that hides.
Shackles gird me waist to toe
Sealed in tower I.
Ever tasked to make amends,
Slowly here I die.
My stricken foe you’ll never know
His death is met with sigh.
Give me a turn, or put me on the stand.
I’m the sentinel, doorman you need,
Give me a go, a go-ahead from me.Hit me, poke me, nail me in your wake,
Without my flips, weak knees would quake.
I live in one state and travel to another,
Sunny side up or fumble in the other.
Shut my door and make it four.
I know exactly who you are,
Where you sleep, friends you keep.
A loyal soldier out on tour
I take my leaves overseas.
So pin the gold upon my breast,
Give me orders crossing borders.
“Get them out!” we long to shout.
And we’ve sure been around for awhile –
Just check out our throats! See how we choke?
Hindering spry spirit and old,
We stop all the fun (though it only takes one).
We’re so bored with the carousal punch,
Now leave us alone, our work here is done!
We’re just wishing that we could go fishing,
(and we’ll show you the fish hot on the dish!)
Through field, the part they play they know.
Soldiers black, soldiers tall
Across the fruited plain they crawl.
Grinning wide, standing firm,
Your ego safe they will confirm.
Scrape the dead, part the waves
They will not break, these soldiers brave.
gold within a hold,
remnants of the dead are stitched
to keep the living whole.
Broken bones among the weeds
scattered ’round and round,
where untouched gems wait silently
o’er blades upon the ground.
Old as old can be,
Push me to the moral ends
I’m all for modesty.
Often lost and all alone
Find me without teeth,
The holes I bear with pride I wear
Security in my reach.
Commander of the Line,
The uniform my noble goal
Security ‘cross time.
Underway and under knots
My medal borne with pride,
Within my grasp a flag, sans mast
All noblemen would fly.
Pouring the seed anywhere else but the sacks is considered soiling. Trading sacks is not allowed. The farmer can’t cut a hole in his sack.
How would you transfer the peas to the innkeeper’s sack, which he wants to keep, without soiling the produce?
Where is the remaining dollar?
He asked the thirteenth guest to wait a little with the first guest in room number 1. So in the first room there were two people. The bellboy took the third guest to room number 2, the fourth to number 3, …, and the twelfth guest to room number 11. Then he returned to room number 1 and took the thirteenth guest to room number 12, still vacant.
How can everybody have his own room?